I Am a God of Breakthrough
Covid unexpectedly hit… not just our country, but my home. The doctor told my husband, as he called in with symptoms, “It’s just a summer cold.” Day by day, more and more peculiar symptoms immerged. Then he was better and then worse and then better until he grew worse and worse. It was a rollercoaster. It was a battle. Not just a physical one. It was spiritual. It was mental. It was all consuming and draining.
“Intentional” was the word I clung to. I knew in this time I had to be intentional with my thoughts, music, prayers, the Word, and even what I shared and who I shared it with. But God knew. He knew me. He knew what I needed. He knew what Daniel needed and He knew what my kids needed. A few days into all this mess, one of our Radiant Sisters texted me and said, “God laid you on my heart. Can I buy your family dinner?” Tears. God is the God that sees... He saw me trying to keep my home together; trying to keep everything happy and “normal” for my kids, even when they couldn’t understand why they couldn’t see daddy. I was exhausted from every corner, praying, cleaning, working, tending… worrying (not one I want to admit).
A week in, I called a few close friends and family. “I need your prayers. I need the hand of God to move.” Immediately, I could feel a blanket of prayers covering me like warmth on a cold winter day. Day 10 I woke up and thought today is a day of breakthrough. I asked a handful of people to fast and pray with me, and just knew something was going to happen. My spirits were high, my faith was strong, my community was with me in the fight. Then evening rolled around and I felt the prompting of the Holy Spirit to go and wake Daniel up. He didn’t look good. For the first time, going to the hospital was an immediate need. “Breakthrough?!...” I prayed. How is this breakthrough? I sobbed in the hospital parking lot feeling helpless and alone. I couldn’t go in. I couldn’t do anything… Daniel Facetimed me, and with a lack of breath and through his pain, he encouraged ME…, “God led us here and now we have to trust the process.”
We knew nothing other than God is on our side and sometimes breakthrough doesn’t look like what we want it to, but it doesn’t mean that it’s not exactly what God is giving. My reality was that it could be days, a week, a month or according to the media, never, before he gets to come home. Have you ever played the could(s) in your mind? But trust requires us to believe that where God is leading you, He will supply for you.
Two days later… TWO… we were headed home. Day by day he was getting better, he could breathe, he had more energy, and another few weeks he was able to lead worship again with his voice not just his life.
Today, you may be playing the could(s), could haves, would haves, should haves, and wondering when, how or even why and where. I cannot tell you that we will understand all of these things on this side of eternity, but I can promise you that no matter the outcome of your prognosis, God will give you a breakthrough so you can breathe again, hope again and live again!
~ Pastor Celeste Gonzales